Kait Behind the Camera | 17

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With my four crazy commutes and extended office hours, I’ve found myself with plenty of room for thought these days.  There are lots of heart checks as I’m driving down 83.  A few worry sessions as I head across 695.  My mind is anywhere and everywhere, but mostly, it lands on the people I love.  And specifically, lately, how I’m loving them.

I use the She Reads Truth app on my phone to read scripture daily and reflect on a devotional.  I’ve been working my way through their women of the Old Testament study, and the woman I’ve been thinking about most this week is Miriam.  I see a lot of myself in her story.  She’s a big sister and a worrier and a warrior.  Miriam loved so strongly and wanted to protect her brother and her people so badly that she forgot her place in it all; that she was never supposed to be the rescuer.  God is the hero of the story, not Miriam.  Even though, bless her heart, she tried.

And you know, that’s so me.  I try.  I’m a big sister and I love helping people and I love loving people.  It’s the thing that has been a constant my entire life – sister, helper, lover of people.  The catch is that while I can be all of those things, I cannot be the rescuer.  I can serve and preach and share and love but I cannot be the savior of anyone’s story, not even my own.

Did you feel that, the big sigh of relief from all of the big sisters around?  We don’t have to be the hero!  There’s grace enough for us all!  We can love well but we cannot love completely, and isn’t that amazing?

I don’t always get this right.  My big sister instincts take over sometimes and I overstep and fumble my attempts at helping.  The beauty of grace is that there is still room for me at the table, flawed sister self and all.

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